This blog is in continuation to my earlier blog — Saving for that Special Day. In my previous blog, I talked about our tendency to save things because they are expensive or have emotional value attached to them. In this blog, I am talking about our tendency to keep piling up random things. The plus side of being an organized hoarder is that your clutter is not visible.
The other side of being an organized hoarder is that it takes lots of energy on your part to keep this clutter safe year after year. It comes out during one of those deep-cleaning drills and then goes back in its place. Organized hoarding is the term I have coined to explain the tendency of some people to save and neatly organize their clutter. This clutter could be anything which is piling up in your house while serving no purpose like plastic bags, old clothes, kitchen crockery, books, music collection, etc.
Organized hoarding is different from collecting coins, stamps, rare gems, or toy figures or other types of collectibles. People who collect a certain item as a hobby, concentrate on just that item.
But people who have the habit of hoarding, they collect everything. Saving and preserving the things comes naturally to most of us for three main reasons — 1. We may require them in future; 2. But as I noted before, in our caveman days, sharp rocks and sticks and nuts and berries were free for the taking.
The caveman didn't go broke hoarding things, unless his hoarding took precedence over survival skills. Today, we have to pay for things with Visa and Mastercard, and yet we still look at a mountain of possessions as a sign of "wealth". I know I did - even when I knew better.
I had cars, houses, boats, and whatnot - all carefully maintained and organized and cared for, so I thought I was not a hoarder, just "well off".
But I realized over time that these "things" were costing me real wealth and delivering less and less satisfaction as time went on. Owning less turned out to be a pleasure, not owning more. In the media, the rich and famous are depicted as owning mountains of consumer goods - huge homes with garages full of cars as well as walk-in closets full of designer suits or dresses and of course, shoes.
Having a lot of "stuff" is what is promoted on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. And in recent years, it is been sold to us - the middle-class people - that we, too, can have walk-in closets and three-car garages with hobby cars and lots of stuff - even though we don't have the army of servants the really wealthy have to maintain it all.
Our ancestors had less "stuff" in their lives not necessarily because they had less money they did or that things cost more to buy they did as well but also because they realized that having a lot of things was costly, time-consuming, and could bankrupt you both financially and in terms of time-management. The image above is of a collection of items bought by an "exteme couponer" and if you've seen these shows or read about the trend, you've seen this kind of thing before. The couponer buys these carts of "free" groceries and often times stacks up the product in a garage or basement in specially-bought shelves, so that their house looks like a supermarket.
It is odd behavior - not buying something to use it but to merely have it. People hoard for many reasons. I have never figured out mine. Offering to help is wonderful, but not everyone is willing to let you into their home. Mine is mostly stuff no garbage, and no pets , but every time my mother has mentioned helping me…. Please do not turn her into the authorities, but she may want some help.
Maybe she needs assistance in building an outside kennel where some of the dogs can run around during the day. Good Luck! I have 5 dogs that live in my house with me. The last thing my dear mother asked of me before she died was that I take care of her dog.
I always have dog treats in my purse. Believe me there are ways to keep a home clean and orderly and not smelling bad with dogs. My home is also a state licensed home child care. So the state of TX inspects my home at least 1 time a year and 4 times a year I am inspected by the health department because I am on a federally funded food program for feeding the daycare children.
That said let me tell you what I do. The dogs can come and go to the bathroom as needed and no one has to jump up and let them out or in. I have hard wood floors too. A couple of big rugs. I sweep with a dust mop everyday to remove hair and I use a Rubbermaid mop the refillable kind on the floors every day. I vacuum the rugs most everyday. I feed the animals 2 times a day.
Pick up the bowls and wash them in the dishwasher. Their water bowl sits out all the time beside my trash can. My dogs are not allowed in my day care area. My daycare area is our enclosed garage. I have a gate set up so the dogs can not get to this area of our home and the children are not exposed to the dogs. If you really want to help your friend, get a mask, gloves, and some good detergent with bleach and help her clean the floors of the house.
Help her find a dog door and get it installed. We got ours at Lowes and they did install it. It is simple to train a dog to use a dog door. All you do is tap the plastic part up for a few days with masking tape. Then lower the plastic flap a little each day.
Finally when the flap is all the way down and a dog is unsure of it just push her through it a couple of times. I have trained dogs as young as 6 weeks. They follow their mother out the door. If she is as lonely as I believe she is I bet she will appreciate it if someone would help her make her house more presentable to be able to let people in.
Add a couple of the wax candles. Especially on days when you can open the windows and let in fresh air. Having a lot of dogs is not easy, not going to say it is. Our dogs are rescue dogs. Someone threw out on the road with nothing to eat and with no thought as to weather they would live or die. One of our dogs I risked my life to save. I ran her down on a busy highway in Austin TX. It is always my thought to find them another home etc.
Just when they find a human who cares enough to feed them and make sure they are safe I can not bring myself to give them to a shelter where they can be killed if someone does not adopt them. I believe God made all things, even dogs and cats. My sweet husband knows this about me and he supports me in this. Cats and dogs are like children that if you have one you are the one responsible for it and they are as much work as a baby or toddler and you have to realize it and accept it.
I had cats and dogs for most of my life and my home never smelt like them but I did have to work hard and it does take work to keep it that way.
That is why a person needs to think very seriously about getting a pet. You need to be willing to sacrifice a few things. Gayla T, It sounds like your friend may have emotional problems and could be lonely too. She must be lonely if nobody is ever able to visit with her because of her refusal to let anyone in her home.
She must at least have some sense to know what she is doing is wrong with all those animals and the uncleanliness, because she seems ashamed and embarrassed. It would be worse if she was clueless. Maybe you can pray that she gets the Graces necessary to conquer the problems.
Maybe someone from her Church can help. If she goes. If it was a friend of mine I probably would talk to some ladies from Church, or the Pastor. If there is feces all over the house and she has a tenant she may get into some kind of trouble eventually.
Especially if a utility serviceman ever has to come into her home and fix something. They may report her. Good luck in trying to help her. Maybe God can open a door if you pray. I love the way that you addressed this question!
This is good advice Melody. Every time I debate on whether I need to keep something or not I remember the looks on their faces and their words of thanks. Taking pics of loved items does not help many of those who have a strong emotional connection to the items.
The pic is just another small thing to get lost. That is true but it does help for some people to do that. Let me put it this way. If you are spending more time taking care of, finding places to put things, not being able to function well, working to pay for bigger house or storage unit to store things in, then all of this is taking away time and energy from the people in your life that you should be loving and caring for more than your things.
A person really needs help in a case like that. We had it completely filled with stuff there was a path to get from the stairs to the utility room. We now have sq ft of livable space — the total amount of finished square footage in our home. It makes me feel good that someone else might actually get a use out of them and my items still get to be useful — to someone else.
Anyway, if you can still see it as useful, work on having it be useful for someone else now rather than you later. That worked wonders for me!. I loved the idea above about one or two items per day. And the FlyLady. I am so glad you have some help. When you were talking about moving I was worried how you would get it all done because I know how full your plate is with everything so am so glad you have someone to help.
Just relax and enjoy it. We all need someone to help us once in awhile. I was even thinking about writing an article on not being afraid to ask for help once in awhile. I have been slowly weeding out things from my house. Things I felt obligated to keep, even though I did not use or love them… this makes me feel better about my decision to start removing these items from my home. I can remember when we had our huge house 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 3 car garage it was packed in the later years we lived there.
I cringe as I remember several rooms were packed with mail, clothes, shopping bags of items I never even unpacked, much less used. I tried to get rid of things, but there was still a lot there when they finally padlocked the house we had already moved to an apartment. We had 8 hours after that when they opened the padlocks to get our stuff out, and we had to leave so much there, and I suspect they just threw it all away. That was so traumatic that I am much more restrained when I go shopping.
I realize now that I am a closet!?! I had issues with collecting stuff and found durring a depressing time with my young tolder. Had some intervention and learned with some counseling and having some one come weekly to assist me. That we can have time where very little gets done or accomplished. There is a web site called www. It very good place to keep you on track and offers allot of tips with cleaning and organizing and with meal planning and grocery shopping.
I appreciated the way you responded to the reader. Usually there is more at the root of the problem than just liking things — and that takes a lot of courage and honesty to be able to deal with.
Also, things often hold memories — I like the idea of taking a picture of the item or to really ask yourself if you are honoring the item by not taking care of it. If something is really special you will take care of it by framing it or whatever.
Also, I have an organization that takes bagged up clothes and they sell them. I get to help and get rid of my clothing! Remember, relationships are more important than things.
We need to love people, not things. Jill, I really needed the encouragement and motivation from this article to help me get started on what has seemed an impossible task — decluttering this house! It is so bad that I truly have been overwhelmed and not sure where to start.
I know getting things organized would be so freeing. It feels good just to get a drawer or a shelf organized — but the whole house seems impossible. I am currently caring for my bedridden mom in this little home in which she and my dad raised six of us children. And in order for it to be a disorder, the amount of clutter is so extreme that But then I think about not once but twice making secret car journeys to new homes without my husband, so I could sneak dozens of boxes into cupboards and nooks before he's had a chance to ask what's inside.
Or that time I had the task of clearing out just one container of my things from the garage, and I started to feel dizzy and overwhelmed. And how at least once I week I've felt a pang of guilt trying to throw away something I know I'll never use, but with that lingering thought in the back of my head: "What if this will come in handy one day?
That day never comes, and so I place the item back in my cupboard, or in my drawers or in yet another cheap plastic container to think about another day. So maybe I really am just as affected by hoarding as the people on those television shows, I'm just better at hiding it in boxes under the guise of "organisation".
If you grow up in home [with hoarding] Like many people my age, my grandparents grew up during WWII, a time when holding onto each item wasn't just encouraged, it was necessary. My late Nanna had a penchant for collecting newspaper articles, something I would later inherit with magazines and recipes. My parents, both from large, working class families, also had to learn the art of holding on.
And during my childhood when times were tough and money was tight, you had to make the most of everything you owned. So now, even though I'm lucky enough to be able to buy things whenever they need replacing, I just can't seem to part with anything that even holds a one per cent chance of being reused.
At the start of the year I watched a documentary on Netflix called Minimalism, one countless people will have seen about two men — Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus, also known as "The Minimalists" — who got rid of most of their belongings and are on the road spreading their message.
I can't say watching the documentary was life-changing for me in that exact moment, but it did make me start to question the relationship I have formed with the things I own. And why I hesitate each time I have to make a decision about getting rid of just about anything.
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